


"He will live on in our memories (and in our actions, as America’s greatest hero)"

by liionne



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bucky Barnes as Captain America, Bucky Barnes becoming Captain America, Established Relationship, M/M, Post-Infinity War, Steve Rogers Has Issues, and this ain't it, because we all know what's really going to happen during/after infinity war, he really isn't, more specifically - Freeform, one day i'll write the smut, some very light mentions/references to smut, the world thinks Steve is dead, today isn't that day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-31
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2019-04-16 11:22:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14163747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liionne/pseuds/liionne
Summary: “They all think you're dead, you know.”“And?” Steve asks.“And you're an American icon. A hero. Don't you think they should know that they're mourning in vain?”“They thought I was dead before.” He says eventually. “They can cope.”Or: The world thinks that Steve Rogers was killd by Thanos. Bucky and his friends know better.





	"He will live on in our memories (and in our actions, as America’s greatest hero)"

**Author's Note:**

> I don't think there's anything in here that can be classed as Infinity War spoilers (basically because I know nothing about it, so anything spoiler-y would be entirely coincidental), but if you're worried about that kind of thing, maybe keep away for a while.

“I'm not saying I want it, exactly. I'm just saying that, in my opinion, if it's going to be anyone, it should be you.”

Steve’s voice is soft in the darkness of their bedroom, conversational. Bucky wonders if that's how much he simply doesn't care about it anymore.

“Why can't it be you?” He asks softly, shifting to run his hand through Steve’s hair. 

Steve is silent for a long moment; Bucky can see his face, despite the dark, and he thinks that for once, maybe, he looks sad. He's lying in his back, the sheets pooled around his waist, and up until now he's been looking at Bucky, who’s sitting on the edge of the bed, bare feet pressed into the plush carpet. 

Now, he looks at the ceiling. Bucky looks away from him and back to the shield, which is sitting against the wall, the moonlight glinting off it as it filters in through the blinds.

“It's not me anymore.” Steve murmurs, and Bucky can feel the slight shake of his head. “I can't be that person - the person that I was. The one that they're all expecting.”

“And I can?” Bucky asks, but there's amusement in his voice, a smirk curving his lips.

“Probably not.” Steve admits. “But better someone new than someone who’s just going to keep letting them down.”

Bucky is quiet for a moment, pensive. He could have joked. Could have assured Steve that he wasn't a disappointment, but was that the truth? 

People, the public, they saw Captain America and expected the 1940s All American Superhero, the one that socked ol' Adolf on the jaw and led his team mates into battle with his head held high and a catch phrase on his lips.

They didn't know that Steve Rogers was older now, and tired, and worn down by how shitty humanity continued to be. In 1941, when he'd became Captain America, he’d had hope. That hope had left him a long time ago, but only the people who knew him best could see it.

“You did your time.” Bucky murmurs, leaning down to press a kiss to Steve’s forehead. “I'll let Tony know.”

“Tell Natasha first.” Steve replies, voice equally as soft though a touch sadder, Bucky thinks.

“You got a reason for that?” Bucky asks, standing up and reaching for his robe. He's going to have to make arrangements, and though it may be 4am, there's no time like the present.

“Principles.” Steve answers, pulling the covers up over his chest and rolling over, drawing a laugh from Bucky as he leaves the room.

~*~

“They all think you're dead, you know.”

Bucky is sitting opposite Tony at a desk that looks far too official for him. He knows this isn’t his office. Tony would’ve just met them at the tower or something, but Bucky has a feeling that someone else is in control of this entire meeting. Probably whoever’s office they’re in right now. To their right - to Bucky’s right, at least - Steve is standing at the floor-to-ceiling window, peering down at the people on the ground.

“And?” Steve asks. He doesn't turn around, but bucky doesn't miss the way Stark grimaces.

“And you're an American icon. A hero. Don't you think they should know that they're mourning in vain?” 

Steve turns now, looks over his shoulder, and Bucky can practically see the cogs working as he tries to decide which answer is the most polite, succinct, and authoritative. 

“They thought I was dead before.” He says eventually. “They can cope.”

Tony huffs at that, and Bucky - well, bucky kind of wants to join him, but he doesn't. He wants to hold steve’s hand, but he doesn't do that either. This isn't the right mood for public displays of affection. 

“Well, if you're sure, then you're going to have to sign the waiver.” Tony explains. “Just says that you can't get pissy about Barnes running round in the suit if you suddenly decide you don't like being dead.”

Bucky cringes, but Steve doesn't even flinch. “That won't be necessary.”

Tony sighs. “No one likes a pre-nup, rogers, but that's the way the world works.

You gave the shield back to me, if you want me to trust him with it, then you gotta sign the form.”

Steve takes the pen on the desk - a little traditional for tony, bucky thinks, more evidence that he really isn't pulling the strings here - and signs his name with a flourish.

Bucky looks at it for a moment, and then he looks at Tony. “Do I have to sign anything?”

Tony shakes his head. Steve is already up, walking away towards the door. He and Tony get a long better these days, despite that whole mess, but Bucky knows Steve just what's this to be over. He just wants to live his life.

“See you around, Barnes.” Tony says, and Bucky gives a little nod, following Steve out of the room.

~*~

“You're keeping the outfit, right?”

Bucky has his back to Steve as he’s washing the dishes from dinner, and for a second his words don’t register. When they do he finds himself grinning, and he half-turns, casting a glance at Steve over his shoulder. When he sees the smirk on Steve’s lips he turns completely, leaning against the counter.

“You know, it's kind of grown on me.” He says, and it’s worth it for the chuckle it gets out of Steve.

It’s the first time he’s laughed for a long time, and Bucky knows it. The beard and the longer hair make him look so much older, so much more tired, and the frown that’s been deep set in his features for weeks now has only made it worse.

“I’m gonna have to cut my hair.” Bucky says, running his hand through the mop of hair that he’s been meaning to cut for a while, actually. He did, not too long ago, but he only cut it to his chin, wussing out of lopping it off completely at the last second and then cursing himself when it no longer fit into a hair tie. “We can’t both be looking like hobos, and if I’m gonna have to wear that stupid cowl it’s gonna have to be short, huh?”

Steve reaches out, replacing the hand that had been in Bucky’s hair, fingers tangling with long, dark locks. “I like your hair when it’s short.” He says after a moment. “Like it when it’s long too.” He adds, with such sincerity that Bucky’s heart skips a beat. “I’m sorry.”

The sudden shift in the mood hits Bucky hard, and he blinks a little. “You’re - sorry? What for?”

“The changes you’re going to have to make. The sacrifices. I should’ve asked someone else.” Steve says, his voice soft and full of regret, his hand cupping Bucky’s cheek and his fingers still caught in his hair. “I should’ve asked Sam, it’s less of a stretch for him--”

“I’m not sacrificing anything,” Bucky says, his head shaking. “And I’m not changing much.” His hands move to Steve’s hips, thumbs brushing his bare skin under his shirt. “I want this, Steve. Don’t get me wrong, I wish you wanted it. I’d rather it was you in the suit than me.” Steve bows his head at that, so Bucky does the same, until he can meet his gaze again. “But I want to do right by your legacy, so I’m going to do it. Okay? No take-backsies.”

“No take-backsies.” Steve echoes. His shoulders shake, and after a moment, Bucky realises that he’s laughing. “How old are you, five?”

“You’re such an ass.” Bucky scolds him, pulling him close and winding his arms around his waist, his chin on Steve’s shoulder. “Punk.”

“Jerk.” Steve returns, like a reflex. It brings a smile to Bucky’s face, his lips moving to Steve’s jaw, before he pulls back just enough to look at him. 

“I want this.” He says. “I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t. So don’t ask again, alright?”

Steve nods, leans in to catch his lips in a kiss. “Alright.” He agrees.

He doesn’t bring it up again.

~*~

His first venture out as Captain America is a success. He knew it would be - he’s been training for this, of course. He can’t use the shield as well as Steve can, he doubts anyone could, but he saves the day and sends the bad guys packing. That’s Captain America’s job, right?

By the time he gets home it’s all over the news. Steve is sitting on the couch, the television on but his gaze far away, the news anchors talking about Bucky Barnes, assassin turned American Hero, taking on the mantle of his late best friend.

“Turn that shit off.” He huffs as he enters the apartment, rubble falling out of his hair as he shakes it out over the trash can. How did it even get in there? He marvels. He’s had that cowl on the whole time, despite wanting to rip it off after about 15 minutes. How Steve coped with it he'll never know.

The television shuts off, quiet filling the apartment, and for a second Bucky thinks that’s it, but then he looks at Steve. He really looks. Every single muscle is tensed, his body like a coiled spring, his jaw clenched tight as he tries not to grind his teeth. He doesn’t look angry, no, just - Bucky can’t even place it. He takes a tentative step towards him. “Steve?”

Steve forces himself to relax and Bucky sees it, the way he visibly loosens up, taking a deep breath in. “Good first day at work?” He says. It’s meant to be a joke, Bucky knows that, but his tone is all wrong and it falls flat. Bucky takes another few steps forward, still in the suit, dragging dust through the apartment.

“You okay, Stevie?” He asks softly, standing in front of him now.

“Fine.” Steve nods. “Great. You should get out of the suit.” He says, and nods once more. “‘S awful being stuck in that thing, huh?”

Bucky nods a little numbly. “You sure you’re fine?”

“Great.” He nods. He stands. “How about I help you out of it?” He asks, reaching for Bucky’s hips. “I can really see the appeal now--”

“You’re a bad liar, Steve, stop trying to change the subject.” Bucky says, even though the adrenaline and Steve’s intonation have his cock half-hard in that damn too-tight suit. “What’s wrong?”

Steve looks at him for a long moment, and then he deflates, moving away to the window. “Sitting here, watching it on tv, I felt - useless. I wanted to help. I  _ should _ be helping. I’m the only person in the world with this serum and I’m sitting on my ass watching you guys out there, risking your lives-- it  _ sucks _ , Bucky. That’s the only god damn word for it. It _sucks_.”

“You wanted this, Steve.” Bucky says quietly. Is Steve regretting it? The world thinks that he’s dead. He signed the waiver, he can’t take that shield back, the outfit. Of course if he wanted it, Bucky would hand it over in a heartbeat, but that’s not the point. Steve had been so sure about wanting to be rid of it. 

“I know.” He says, shaking his head. His hair is mussed up, probably from his fingers running through it, just as they do now. He seems like he wants to say more, but instead he just shakes his head, arms folding over his chest. “I know.”

“We can find a way.” Bucky says after a moment. “A way for you to help, without being Captain America. There’s gotta be a way.”

Steve is looking at the floor, and Bucky realises what that expression is - he’s lost. Steve has been Captain America for so long now that  _ not _ being Captain America… it’s robbed him of his purpose. It’s given him back his identity, sure, but at such a high price. He can’t help anymore, not in the way he knows how, and that’s all Steve’s ever wanted to do. He’s always wanted to help.

“It’s fine, Buck. I’ll get used to it.” He murmurs, moving away from the wall. “You should really get out of the suit.” He says again. “It’s tracking dust everywhere.”

He goes to their bedroom, closing the door behind him with a gentle click that wounds Bucky, somewhere deep in his core. He knows better than to follow, though, so he goes to the bathroom, changing out of the suit and turning on the shower.

~*~

Bucky knows that Steve would rather be dead than be in a room with Thaddeus Ross ever again, but he was pretty insistant about setting up a meeting, and Bucky... well, he sure as hell doesn't like the guy, but it seems like he might have an opportunity for Steve. All they can do is hear him out.

Technically this could have been done without Bucky, and it  _ definitely _ could have been done without Natasha, but Bucky tends to be biased when it comes to Steve. He might be able to keep him calm, but he’ll always fight his corner. Natasha is their impartial party, no matter how much she cares about either of them, so Bucky (and Steve, too, though he refuses to admit it out loud) thinks it's a good idea for her to come along.

“Well, the President pardoned your…  _ friends _ after your death.” Ross says, and Steve lets out an annoyed sounding grunt at that. Bucky grimaces. It had been something and nothing - the President had released a statement, saying that Bucky, Sam, Clint, Wanda and Scott, and Natasha too for the part she had played in allowing them to escape, were no longer considered enemies of the state, not after the part they played in saving the world from Thanos. Steve had been pardoned posthumously, and once again pronounced an American hero.  _ A legend _ , he thinks the exact words were.  _ He will live on in our memories, and in our actions, as America’s greatest hero.  _

“He was briefed on the fact that you weren’t actually dead a while ago. He was put out, ‘course, but the pardon still stands.” Ross continues. 

Bucky doesn’t know what he expected from Steve. Maybe some pacing back and forth. Maybe him staring at the table top. Whatever it was, he knows it wasn’t this: Steve staring at Ross with a steely glare, hair falling into his face a little bit, making him seem all the more mysterious, dangerous. It would be hot, if the situation were better.

“He doesn’t want to let talents like yours go to waste,” Ross says, sounding like he’s winding up to a conclusion. “You ever thought about entering the civil service? Current Secretary of Defense’ll be retiring soon - the President wants to offer you the job.”

Bucky blinks. He must be dreaming, he thinks, because this entire meeting is going in the exact opposite direction he had expected it to.

Until Steve shifts, and says, “No.”

Even Natasha looks kind of startled, though she quickly gathers her composure.

“No offense, sir, and you can tell the President the same, but I didn’t want to work for the government before. I  _ have _ worked for the government before. Didn’t suit me.” He says. “Thank you for the opportunity, but respectfully, I’d like to decline.”

And he leaves. Just like that. Bucky watches him go, Ross too, gaping a little, and then he quickly gets up and follows, leaving Ross and Natasha behind.

“You have a lot of nerve.” Bucky says in the elevator on the way down. “You didn't want to hear him out? Looked like he had a whole speech planned.”

“He'd only be wasting his breath.” Steve shrugs. “I hear the shortened version, I didn't like, no point in either of us wasting our time.”

“You’re rude now, y’know that? You might have lived on but your manners really did die.” Bucky says, shaking his head, but it earns a snicker from Steve.

“I don’t want to work for the President, Buck. It’s sure nice to be put up for a position like that, but… It’s not for me.” Steve says. 

Bucky nods. “Yeah.” He murmurs. “I know.”

They’re both silent, the elevator doors dinging as they slide open. “I might have an idea.”

“Oh?” Steve asks. He takes Bucky’s hand as they leave, fingers tangling together. “Uh huh.” He grins. “I think you’re gonna like it.”

~*~

“They’re gaining on you, Bucky, you’re gonna have to move, start heading east towards the subway. Sam - take the corner onto East 53rd, Wanda - head north, up Carter until you get to the intersection, if we can back ‘em into a corner we might be able to take ‘em down easier.”

Steve’s voice is a constant stream of orders, steady and calm and completely in control. It’s good to have someone in control, with eyes on the entire situation as a whole - Bucky wouldn’t have thought of heading east, at least not in the moment like this, and though pushing back the weird alien-robot-things isn’t easy, having a direction to go in really does help. They tend to get scattered once they hit the ground, so many things happening at once, that it’s nice to have someone helping them to regroup, and bring this whole fucking mess to a timely conclusion.

Bucky is proud to say that this had all been his idea. Steve is a master tactician; he was the best during the war and he’s only gotten better as he’s gained more and more practice. He doesn’t want to be Captain America anymore, he doesn’t want to be out on the streets, but he can put the serum, the effects it had on his  _ mind _ , to good use. He’s fifteen steps ahead of Bucky and the rest of them on the ground, helping more than he could if he was there in person, and all from a room in Stark Tower.

The Tower hadn’t been necessary, but it’s got better access to tech than Steve and Bucky’s apartment, and Tony considered it one final peace offering, even though Steve considered the war between them over a long time ago. It’s good that he has somewhere, though, a proper office - makes the whole thing feel much more official.

The fight is over within another hour, the enemy defeated. Steve gets home before Bucky, the shower already running and the water beginning to heat up. He leans against the bathroom doorway with a smile that Bucky knows only comes with satisfaction.

“Good first day at work?” Bucky asks, echoing Steve’s words from weeks before. 

Steve laughs, arms folded across his chest. “It was alright. Like trying to herd cats.”

“I’m wounded.” Bucky shakes his head, moving up close to him, into his personal space. “I’m hurt.”

“Are you really?” Steve asks, and Bucky sees the concern there, so he shakes his head.

“No.” He says softly. “Not physically, anyway. Just my emotions. My pride.”

Steve laughs again, leaning into it when Bucky kisses him. “I know how you can make it up to me, though.”

“Oh?” Steve asks. Bucky shifts against him, because the adrenaline and Steve’s smirk, the confident set to his shoulders, all of it, all of  _ him _ , has him half-hard again in the suit. “ _ Oh _ .”

“Yeah.” Bucky grins. “C’mon, we’re wasting water.” He adds, tugging Steve into the bathroom with him.

**Author's Note:**

> This was entirely self-indulgent - this is what I _wish_ would happen. Can't Steve and Bucky just be happy?
> 
> Also, I've never read a single comic in my life (I know, appalling - they're just so hard for me to get my hands on!), so I don't really know how this plays out in the comics, but I do know that originally, Bucky took over as Cap, and hence this was born. This is a total AU, though - like I said, just what I wish would happen, even though it never will.
> 
> I hope someone out there enjoyed this - if you want to cry with me, feel free to do so in the comments, or at [my tumblr](http://liionne.tumblr.com/ask).
> 
> I'm also officially on break for Easter, so feel free to send any prompts! I'm working on another chapter of Man's Best Friend, off a few prompts in the comments, but anything else is welcome!
> 
> Thanks for reading! <3


End file.
